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Halloween Jokes To Tickle Your Bones

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halloween jokes

What’s not to love about Halloween? You get to attend hip costume parties dressed as your favorite character, eat sumptuous, though a bit spooky foods and do trick-or-treat. A part of Halloween also involves telling jokes. So keeping with the Halloween tradition, we’ve compiled a list of Halloween jokes for you. And don’t worry. These Halloween jokes are kid friendly too!

Read: Halloween Costume Ideas For Couples

Top 50 Halloween Jokes:

Joke 1:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip, who?
Phillip my bag with candy.

Joke 2:

Q: Where does a witch park her vehicle?
A: In the broom closet!

Joke 3:

Q: Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
A: Because he came to pick up his sister.

Joke 4:

Q:What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A: Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Joke 5:

Q: What should a short-sighted ghost have?
A: Spooktacles!

Joke 6:

Q: Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A: Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Joke 7:

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You’re lemonade!

Joke 8:

Q: Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?
A: Because he was wrapped up in himself!

Joke 9:

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi!

Joke 10:

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare!

 

halloween jokes

 

Joke 11:

Q: Why couldn’t the witch have children?

A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.

Joke 12:

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Annie.

Annie who?

Annie body home?

Joke 13:

Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

Joke 14:

It was mid-October and I was waiting for my wife, Julie, at the checkout at the supermarket in Worcester, USA, I noticed that someone had left behind their broom.
When no one came to claim it, I went outside to search for a couple I remembered seeing at the cashier’s desk. I spotted them getting into their truck and hurried over.

‘Excuse me,’ I said to the young woman, ‘but did you by any chance leave your broom inside?’

‘No,’ she retorted quickly and with a smile, ‘we came by truck.’

Joke 15:

Q: Do you know how to make a witch itch?
A: You take away the w!

Joke 16:

Q: What is a scarecrows favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!

Joke 17:

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce try again next Halloween!

Joke 18:

“Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
“Please be quiet and comb your face.”

Joke 19:

Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Joke 20:

Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
Why?
It didn’t have a hunting license.

 

halloween jokes

 

Joke 21:

Q: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
A: The Ghoul Scouts.

Joke 22:

Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: Because they have bat breath.

Joke 23:

Q:  Why aren’t there more famous skeletons?
A:  They’re a bunch of no bodies!

Joke 24:

Q:  What do birds give out on Halloween?
A:  Tweets!

Joke 25:

Q:  How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A:  He draws your blood  from your neck with a straw!

Joke 26:

Q:  What do you do with a very green monster?
A:  Wait until it ripens!

Joke 27:

Q:  Why doesn’t anyone like Count Dracula?
A:  He’s a real pain in the neck!

Joke 28:

Q:  What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?
A:  He was repossessed, again!

Joke 29:

Q:  What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A:  A 1980’s hairdresser!

Joke 30:

Q:  How do vampires get around?
A:  In their bloody mobiles!

halloween jokes

Joke 31:

Q:  Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A:  Any old friend he could dig up!

Joke 32:

Q:  How do vampires get around?
A:  In their bloody mobiles!

Read: Halloween Quotes To Get You In The Spooky Spirit

Joke 33:

Q:  What is Dracula’s favorite position in baseball?
A:  Batboy!

Joke 34:

Q:  What did the full moon vampire say to the other full moon vampire?
A:  See you next month!

Joke 35:

Q:  Why are vampires like to vote Democrats?
A:  They wanted to Gore in 2000!

Joke 36:

Q:  Why shouldn’t you try to hug a spooky ghost?
A:  Because all you get is a couple of handfuls of sheet!

Joke 37:

Q:  What kind of clothes do the coolest zombies wear?
A:  Decay NY!

Joke 38:

Q:  What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A:  Don’t spook until your spooken too!

Joke 39:

Q:  Where do ghosts go to buy their food?
A:  At the ghost-ery store!

Joke 40:

Q:  What does a witch ask for when she is staying in a hotel?
A:  Fast broom service!

Joke 41:

Q:  When do witches like to cook their victims?
A:  On Fry-Day!

Joke 42:

Q:  Where does a young model ghost go to get her hair done?
A:  To the BOOty parlor!

Joke 43:

Q:  What’s a vampire’s favorite feast of the year?
A:  Fangsgiving Day dinner!

Joke 44:

Q:  What do you call two witches living together?
A:  Broom-mates!

Joke 45:

Q:  What’s a spooky ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
A:  The roller ghoster!

Joke 46:

Q:  What’s a healthy ghosts favorite fruit?
A:  Booberries!

Joke 47:

Q:  What type of art do skeletons like?
A:  Skullptures!

Read: Halloween Coloring Pages For Kids- Free Printables

Joke 48:

Q:  What do little ghost kids eat for dinner?
A:  Spookgetti!

Joke 49:

Q:  What’s a vampire’s favorite Halloween candy?
A:  A juice red sucker!

Joke 50:

Q:  How does the zombie know what time it is?
A:  He just asks!

We hope you enjoyed our collection of Halloween jokes. You can use these jokes on your invite, napkin or print them out for kids. Do you have any more Halloween jokes to share? Leave them for our members in the comment section below!

Halloween Jokes To Tickle Your Bones
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